GRIEF IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
Grief is the expected internal feelings and thought in response to a major change, a death or the end of a valued relationship. Mourning is the outward expression of these feelings and thought, which allows us some release. Grief and mourning take large amounts of physical and emotional energy so you may not be able to work full time or find you may concentrate less well. It is good to say out loud or put in writing all t he feeling that may be part of the loss:
- Guilt for what you which was said or done that was not
- Anger that many expectations are not longer possible
- Fear for your physical well-being
- Loneliness that is so persistent and sometimes overwhelming that often you wonder how life can go on
- Sadness that this was a good life that ended much too soon
- Relief that the recent suffering and anguish are over
- Confusion of many mixed emotions as well as feelings that shift unexpectedly
The intensity of all these feelings can have you wondering about the powers of good and evil in this world.
HOW CAN I FEEL SOME SENSE OF PEACE IN RELATION TO MY LOSSES?
To feel some sense of peace is to become reconciled with the changes that death brings. Death and loss have caused a great breaking apart of a future that seemed secure and full of color. This security and joy can never be recovered in the same way. Bringing together the pieces in a new wholeness is reconciliation. Learning to trust ourselves, experiencing joy in new way and beings surprised by hope will be a part of the new wholeness. Making time for the tasks of grief will assist the process toward reconciliations and wholeness.
THE TASKS OF GRIEF RECONCILIATION
- FIRST TASK - for you and me to have a clear understanding of what happened when a painful loss occurred. Telling the story to someone else is a way of understanding the reality of loss. Possible thoughts: It is important for each of us to have many changes to share the story about our painful loss. We need to feel we are in safe place with people we trust. Telling our story helps us understand with our hearts and minds what has happened. This begins the healing.
- SECOND TASK - work to assist our grief is to look at and honestly express the feelings we have had since the painful loss occurred. Possible feelings: anger fear sadness, loneliness, guilt, relief, happiness, despair, and confusion.
- THIRD TASK - work toward healing is to find the meaning in this loss that we can use to grow and become a whole person. Possible meanings to explore: Who am I now> (I am changed) Who is the person I have loved? (What was the relationship and how do I relate to him/her now?) What have I learned that can help me become a new whole person? Of what do I need to let go? What values of the deceased do I want as a part of me? What have I learned about loss life and death?
- FOURTH TASK - assist healing and wholeness is our decision to accept (most of the time) that death and loss make irrevocable physical changes. Our work or task is to transform the relationship from a physical one to one of memory or to one of a spiritual nature so that energy can be released and invested in new choices. Possible thoughts about transforming: It does not mean to forget who has died or what has been lost. Special people and events are a part of who we are forever, often in an even more meaningful way as their internalized value becomes a part of moving ahead with our lives.
A Caring Heart Hospice understands that the grief process is ongoing and different for everyone. Let us help! Call our experienced staff at: