Sexless marriages find solutions to perk up love life

CHARLESTON, SC (WCSC) - One in three marriages are sexless but there are some easy solutions to perk up your dull love life.

In today's  fast paced world, intimacy between many married couples seems to be on the back burner. According to a Barna group study, nearly 30 to 40 percent of couples have what's considered a sexless marriage, meaning they have sex only 10 times a year.

"The first step is to reassure people that they are not alone. It's ok to talk to your doctor about it and you should not be embarrassed about it. It's a frequent and common thing we see in the office," said Dr. Laura Stickler with MUSC Woman's services. "Today our lives are very different. You have couples with both members working, you have financial pressures and concerns working two jobs and children they are raising. When it comes time to go to sleep, people just want to go to sleep."

There are also external factors that can be the root to a low drive. Along with menopause being a factor for women, some medications such as birth control, anti-depressants and blood pressure meds can also decrease libido.

"Some are young, some are older but across the board at least 2 to 3 a day about this issue," said Dr. Christi Geier with MUSC Women's services.

Local author and sex expert Carolyn Evans says she wrote her book "40 beads, The Simple Sexy Secret for Transforming Your Marriage," as a tool to help couples get the spark back.

"My big ah-ha moment was realizing that it's not enough once a month. That's only 12 times a year and if 10 times a year is sexless than that's not enough to keep a marriage connected," Evans said.

Evans says it's normal for a marriage to cool off but going to a sexless marriage can lead to other issues down the road and for some it could lead to divorce. Evans says living in a sexless marriage creates a lot of tension and frustration making the marriage vulnerable.

In addition to changing medications Dr. Geier  says some couples may need to seek counseling or rearrange their schedule and dedicate time together. She says whatever may be the root to your marriage being sexless it's important to know there is hope.

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