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Couch Potato cautions Auburn to maintain vigilance against dangerous Dawgs

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Coach Gus Malzahn and his players celebrate their emotional win over Texas A&M. (Source: Todd Van Emst, Auburn Athletics) Coach Gus Malzahn and his players celebrate their emotional win over Texas A&M. (Source: Todd Van Emst, Auburn Athletics)
Todd Gurley recovered from an ankle injury enough to help Georgia get by Florida. He'll be healthy for the Auburn game. (Source:  John Kelley, UGA Athletics) Todd Gurley recovered from an ankle injury enough to help Georgia get by Florida. He'll be healthy for the Auburn game. (Source: John Kelley, UGA Athletics)

(RNN) - A scanty slate of SEC games this weekend does not mean a dearth of quality sports-related TV viewing.

You are encouraged to make no conflicting plans from mid-afternoon Saturday until sometime Sunday because Auburn and Georgia have a chance to put on a really good show.

And South Carolina at Florida and Alabama at Mississippi State… well, OK. Those probably won't be so interesting. But watch them for research purposes. There will be a quiz.

And again, in deference to the chat-room trolls who go full Richie Incognito on Couch Potato when he predicts that their beloved team will lose, we will quote from the timeless comedy Napoleon Dynamite instead of guessing the final scores at the end of the game summaries.

Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man.

Georgia at Auburn

3:30 p.m. ET, CBS

Georgia drags its beat-down self into Auburn with a disappointing 6-3 record, trailing losses to the high-riding Missouri, the plucky Vanderbilt and the not-so-long-ago staggeringly overrated Clemson.

Auburn is riding high after rushing for 444 yards in a public dog-whipping of Tennessee, a game in which QB Nick Marshall only threw eight passes. He didn't need to throw that many, and why should he? The receiver might have dropped it. Marshall, who was recruited to UGA as a defensive back, ran for 214 yards himself against Tennessee's defense, which appeared to have been coached to obstruct the run by waving at ball carriers as they raced by.

The Tigers need a win here to propel themselves into a loser-leaves-town cage match with the hated Alabama in the Nov. 30 Iron Bowl. More important, the Tigers could blow the treads off the hated Alabama's relentless ride to a third straight national championship. Even the Wall Street Journal chimed in with an open letter extolling Auburn as the world's last great hope to deny the hated Alabama its dark destiny.

That's what makes this Georgia game a worrisome proposition for the orange-clad legions who shout "War Eagle." Is Auburn looking ahead? It should not.

Georgia has running back Todd Gurley back; he sat out the losses to Mizzou and Vandy with an ankle sprain. Gurley is the best running back in the SEC when he's well. He was not full-speed two weeks ago against Florida and gashed the Gators for 100 yards running and 87 receiving, in between recuperative spans of sitting on the sidelines gasping with a towel over his head like he just finished a marathon.

Quarterback Aaron Murray, who has proved that he belongs among the greatest Dawgs of all, is going to get real rich quite soon throwing passes for some lucky team in the NFL. And some of his beat-down receivers are now considered ambulatory.

Auburn's defense is decent. But Georgia's offense is amazing when everybody's well. And everybody's, well, almost well.

Georgia's defense, however, is dreadful, and Auburn's offense is really good, particularly when Nick runs or hands the ball to other guys who run.

Auburn is a 4-point favorite. That sounds about right. But the Dawg is dangerous, and enters the melee' with stung pride. Beware.

Deb: What's a liger?

Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Florida at South Carolina

7 p.m. ET, ESPN 2

South Carolina is trudging onward, hoping to wedge into the SEC Championship Game despite two losses.

Florida was Steve Spurrier's school back in the olden days, which nobody but Couch Potato, Line King and a few other relics recall. It could be a factor, but probably not.

Florida's just been awful. The offense, poorly conceived to begin with, was better when Charlie Weis was the coordinator, and what's that tell you? Yeah, the quarterback got hurt, but Jeff Driskel's replacement, poor Tyler Murphy has had little help. The defense was stout until a bunch of guys got hurt and now the wheels are off the Gator Train.

Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.

Alabama at Mississippi State

7:45 p.m. ET, ESPN

Could this be a trap game for Alabama? Well, maybe if Mississippi State had tackled anybody recently.

The world at large is hating on Bama for balling so hard. Chances are, the haters' dreams of Tide defeat will not come true at the hands of the withering Bulldogs. However, Dak Prescott is turning into a really good quarterback and Jameon Lewis is a great, all-around athlete.

The MSU defense just doesn't look like it'll be able to do much with Alabama's offense, which needs to run up some points in a hurry then wrap AJ McCarron in bubble wrap and toasty blankets in a secure area of the sidelines where he can't get hurt. The Crimson Tide has a lot of interchangeable parts on both sides of the ball, and have responded to injuries this season without missing a beat.

But if anything happens to No. 10, cancel Christmas.

Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

The other ones: Troy travels to Ole Miss to pick up a pay-me-and-whup-me check; Kentucky wanders into Vanderbilt hoping to redeem the basketball team's loss to Michigan State earlier this week; and everybody else has the week off.

Napoleon Dynamite: What the heck are you guys doin'? Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a freakin' idiot?

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

A scanty slate of games this week does not mean a dearth of quality sports-related TV viewing.

Auburn and Georgia have a chance to put on a really good show.

And South Carolina at Florida and Alabama at Mississippi State… well, OK. Those probably won't be so interesting.

In deference to the chat-room trolls who go full Richie Incognito on Couch Potato when he predicts that their beloved team will lose, we will quote the timeless comedy Napoleon Dynamite instead of guessing the final outcomes at the end of the game summaries.

 Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man.

Georgia at Auburn

3:30 p.m. ET, CBS

Georgia drags into Auburn with a disappointing 6-3 record, trailing losses to high-riding Missouri, plucky Vanderbilt and tarnished Clemson.

Auburn is riding high after rushing for 444 yards in a public dog-whipping of Tennessee, a game in which QB Nick Marshall only threw eight passes.  He didn't need to throw that many. He ran for 214 yards his own self against Tennessee's defense, which appeared to have been coached to defend the run by looking longingly at ball carriers racing past.

The Tigers need a win here to propel themselves into a loser-leaves-town cage match with hated Alabama in the Nov. 30 Iron Bowl that will decide the SEC West race, but more important, destroy hated Alabama's relentless murder march to a third-straight national championship. Even the Wall Street Journal chimed in with an open letter imploring Auburn to derail Alabama, almost three weeks before the Nov. 30 Iron Bowl.

That's what makes this Georgia game a worrisome proposition for those who cry "War Eagle."  Georgia has running back Todd Gurley back, who sat out the losses to Mizzou and Vandy with an ankle sprain. Gurley is the best running back in the SEC when he's well. He was not full-speed two weeks ago against Florida and gashed the Gators for 100 yards running and 87 receiving, in between sessions of sitting on the sidelines gasping with a towel over his head like he just  finished a marathon.

Quarterback Aaron Murray is going to get real rich quite soon throwing passes for some lucky team in the NFL.  And some of his beat-up receivers are now considered ambulatory.

Auburn's defense is decent. But Georgia's offense is amazing when everybody's well. And everybody's, well, almost well.

Georgia's defense, however,  is dreadful, and Auburn's offense is really good, particularly when Murray runs or hands the ball to other guys who run.

Auburn is a 4-point favorite. That sounds about right. But the Dawg is dangerous, and enters the melee' with stung pride.  Beware.

Deb: What's a liger?

Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

 

 

 

 

 

Deb: What's a liger?

Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man.

Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.

 

Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.

 

 

Florida at South Carolina

7 p.m. ET, ESPN 2

South Carolina is trudging onward, hoping to wedge into the SEC Championship Game with two losses.

Florida was Steve Spurrier's school back in the olden days, which nobody but Couch Potato, Line King and a few other relics recall. It could be a factor, but probably not.

Florida's just been awful. The offense, poorly conceived to begin with, was better when Charlie Weis was the coordinator, and what's that tell you? Yeah, the quarterback got hurt, but Jeff Driskel's replacement, poor Tyler Murphy has had little help. The defense was stout until a bunch of guys got hurt and now the wheels are off the Gator Train.

Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.

 

Alabama at Mississippi State

7:45 p.m. ET, ESPN

Could this be a trap game for Alabama? Well, maybe if Mississippi State had indicated any proclivity whatever for tackling people.

A lot of people are hating on Bama for balling so hard, including a Wall Street Journal columnist. Chances are, their dreams will not come true at the hands of the withering Bulldogs, although that Dak Prescott is turning into a really good quarterback and Jameon Lewis is a great, all-around athlete.

The MSU defense just doesn't look like it'll be able to do much with Alabama's offense, which needs to run up some points then put AJ McCarron in a glass case where he can't get hurt. The Crimson Tide has a lot of interchangeable parts on both sides of the ball, and have responded to injury without missing a beat.

But if anything happens to No. 10, wave adieu to the crystal ball.

Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

 

The other ones: Troy travels to Ole Miss to pick up a pay-me-and-whup-me check; Kentucky wanders into Vanderbilt hoping to redeem the basketball team's loss to Michigan State earlier this week; and everybody else has the week off.

Napoleon Dynamite: What the heck are you guys doin'? Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a freakin' idiot?

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